Consequences
by Urby
Summary: (FFTA) Chapter 8:A mysterious message...
1. Bubble boy!

Disclaimer:I Don't own FFTA or FFT. Square Enix does, and now Nintendo owns Square. I do not own any of the characters, or anything else but a cartrige and this fanfic. Enjoy.  
  
This takes place several years after Marche and the foreigners had left Ivalice, and those who ever knew them personally either vowed to keep their mouth shut or have passed on. Now, the story of Marche and Co is still very popular, but no eyewitness record has been found. Nowadays, the tale has become a story you tell to fussy children who refuse to go to bed.  
  
"Kelly. Wake up. Chores don't finish themselves."  
  
Kelly looked up to see Sybil looking down at her. Kelly buried herself in the covers and groaned.  
  
"Kelly. Get up right now."  
  
"Five more minutes."  
  
"Five more minutes means chores are left unfinished for five more mintues and you'll have to spend extra time doing them. Come on! All of Muscadet is awake but you!"  
  
A swift kick to Kelly's rump ended futher argument.  
  
It was a fine day in the month of Bardmoon. Kelly had finished the said chores and now was relaxing on a grassy hill by her house.  
  
Before she fell asleep, a bubble landed on her nose. Curious, Kelly flicked it with her ear. It popped, sending soap spraying, some getting into her eye. After blinking a few times, she noticed more bubbles coming from the other side of the hill.  
  
There was a young archer, about Kelly's age, blowing bubbles with a wand. It seemed that he had not a care in the world. Ragnarok could be ensuing, and he would not care. Someone could be doing a strip tease in front of him and he would continue blowing bubbles. Kelly was unsure of what to do. Should she poke him? Say something? Leave? Pop his bubbles and see what he did? She decided on the latter. Unsheathing her rapier, Kelly poked each each bubble into submission.  
  
The boy looked at her with mild interest. She detected a slight frown, but the boy said nothing. He looked at Kelly for a few seconds, and then dipped his wand into the solution and started blowing anew.  
  
"God, this kid must be either obsessed with bubbles or funny in the head," Kelly thought. She left, almost dissapointed.  
  
The kid saw her leave, and left also.  
  
The next day Kelly was washing the dishes when a large pink bubble the size of her head strayed near her hair. Kelly popped it absently, only to be drenched in soapy stuff. She finished as quickly as she could, and vowed the would get that bubble boy and give him a beating he would remember. After changing into some dry clothes Kelly left for the hill. Unfortunatly for her, and fortunatly for the boy, he was not there. She stomped her way back home, only to have a hissy fit when she saw that, thinking she would do Kelly a favor, Sybil had her bath ready, and to Kelly's dismay, there were bubbles in it.  
  
That evening, the boy looked around, plopped his bum on his side of the hill and started mixing his solution when he noticed it was uncomfortably quiet. He froze. The birds were silent. Nothing stirred. He felt very vulnerable and a tad bit scared. Something was going to happen. But what?  
  
A bucket of cold water was dumped on his head.  
  
"You! You're going to pay for what you did today!"  
  
The boy looked up. "I have a name. It's Lester."  
  
"Well, Lester, you messed with the wrong viera!"  
  
Lester looked at Kelly calmy. "Excuse me? You popped my bubbles."  
  
Kelly stood, bucket in hand. "Well, um, it still wasn't very nice to blow that big pink one."  
  
Lester looked at Kelly in a quizzical fashion. "Never mind. Blow bubbles with me. It's relaxing."  
  
Kelly looked as if she was ernestly trying to restrain herself from choking someone. Finally she lay down deside him and popped whatever bubbles he blew.  
  
"Why don't you pop your own bubbles, Lester?"  
  
Lester looked at Kelly, and studied one of his bubbles. "Okay, what'syername. I'll pop one."  
  
"It's Kelly."  
  
Lester took an arrow, fitted it on his bow, and let it loose, and it tore neatly into the bubble, sending spray floating everywhere.  
  
Just then a Judge was passing by. He blew on his whistle. "Infraction of a Rank 6 Law! Unit goes directly to prison!"  
  
He rushed over to Lester, and he arrested him. Kelly stood in shock. But Lester didn't seem to be angry or anything. He chuckled and nodded to Kelly. Then the Jugde took him away.  
  
"That boy really is funny in the head," Kelly thought aloud as she ran home. If Sybil knew she had sent someone to the slammer, she would disown her, kill her, or even worse-more chores!  
  
The prison guards took Lester roughly by the neck and shoved him into some prison garb. After searching his belongings and confiscating his bow and arrows, they lead him to a cell and kicked him in.  
  
"And sstay put and don't try anything ssusspicious!"  
  
Lester tugged at his garb, a bit big for him. Taking out the small jar of bubbles he kept for emergencies, and blew a couple of bubbles. It cheered him a bit, but the cell was quite dark and he really couldn't see them.  
  
A Moogle scream-a cross between a squeak and a squeal-rang out of the darker parts of the cell.  
  
"EEEEKKKKKEEEEAAAAH! HELP HELP HELP BENSOM!"  
  
"I feel so loved..." said a bangaa voice with no trilling at all.  
  
A female nu mou voice calmed the moogle. "It's okay, Kilov, it's okay. What happened?"  
  
"SOMETHING WET AND COLD T...T...TOUCHED ME!"  
  
Lester couldn't help but laughing, but stopped himself. The cell was silent.  
  
"B...Bensom, what was that?"  
  
"It's the other person in the cell, Kilov. Say 'hi'. Be polite now."  
  
"...Hi?"  
  
"Hello to you all. I'm Lester. What's wrong with the moogle?"  
  
"We don't know. He's a little...um...he has mental problems," said the bangaa.  
  
"He's afraid of bubbles?"  
  
"Ohhh...that was a bubble? I like bubbles. Blow me one, mister Lester!" Kilov squealed happily.  
  
"Kilov, do be quiet. Hey Lester, where are you in the cell? Bensom and I need to speak with ye."  
  
"I'm in the entrance," Lester replied.  
  
After distracting Kilov with a few bubbles, the bangaa (his name was Conner) disscussed a "plan" that would free them all. "Okay. See up there, in the left wall? There's a window there. It leads to outside. Unfortunatly, it's set way too high for any of us to get up there and the walls are too smooth to climb up. So we need some way to get a rope up there so Kilov can get out and somehow bail us out. Any ideas, Lester?"  
  
"First, one question. How long have you been here?"  
  
Bensom replied. "Kilov, he's been here ever since we were shoved in here, the poor lad. I've been here for about a month, and Conner has been here since Kingmoon. Our clans are too lazy to come and pick us up."  
  
Lester thought a moment, blowing some bubbles for Kilov so he would stop wailing for more.  
  
"If I could build a bow and arrow, I could tie a piece of rope to that arrow and shoot it upwards. With a bit of luck, the arrow will fall out side."  
  
"Brilliant," Bensom said. "Kilov could climb up that said rope and tie it to...ummm...let's see...Conner, do you think there's rocks outside?"  
  
"We bang them every day with a hammer. There's bound to be a rock somewhere."  
  
"Yes, alright. Then we can all get out the window. And it's all thanks to you, Lester. We'll look for supplies tomorrow morning." 


	2. My White T?

Kk, peoples! Welcome to the second chapter. R/R please?  
  
Disclaimer:I Don't own FFTA or FFT. Square Enix does, and now Nintendo owns Square. I do not own any of the characters, or anything else but a cartrige and this fanfic. Enjoy.  
  
Days passed.  
  
More days passed.  
  
And, ye guessed it, more days passed!  
  
And still there was no sign as to how they were going to get out.  
  
Kilov was eating his bread when there was a shout of a drunken man and some bangaa speak.  
  
"Let me go yer ovagrown lizards!"  
  
"Tchah. Lizzard indeed. This'll teach you ssome mannerss!"  
  
A resounding crack and the man was knocked out.  
  
"Bensom, did you hear that, kupo?"  
  
"Maybe I did and I'm trying to forget, or maybe I didn't and trying to remember."  
  
There was a scratch at the wall, and everyone snapped to attention.  
  
"Hey you..."  
  
"Ye wantss to ge out, iss it not?"  
  
Apperantly there was a hole in the wall, not big enough to get out of, but perfect for conversing with the cell next door. Two bangaas, One a bishop and the other a templar, were looking out of the hole.  
  
"Todayss your lucky day. That there persson wass the great Theodore."  
  
Lester had heard of him before. He was one of the best thieves around. Indeed! He could steal gil from anyone and make them think that they spent it. If you were unlucky enough to get into an engagement with him, within a few minutes he would of taken your clothes, shoes, hat, dignity, and whatever was in your pockets. He was a good man, always followed the law...  
  
Except when he was drunk. He had a slight *cough cough wheeze choke* drinking problem. When he was intoxicated anything was possible.  
  
"We have the ssell next door to him. Wanna talk?"  
  
Kilov squealed.  
  
"We'll take that as a yess. Kay, waddayawannasay?"  
  
Bensom took Kilov away and scolded him.  
  
"Kilov, what are you doing? They might be spies for the prison, and we don't know who they are. They've agreed to help, yes, but that doesn't mean anything! What if something bad happens?"  
  
"Then it happens," Kilov said simply, and tried to wriggle out of Bensom's grasp.  
  
But it was too late to change their mind. The two bangaas were intent on helping them in any way they could, to telling them otherwise would of done naught.  
  
"Alright, peopless. We'll relay whatever you ssay to him. Remember, he'ss drunk, sso he'ss not at this smartest, but he can be angered eassily," said the templar.  
  
"Why are you helping us!?" Bensom screamied in the quiet way nu mous scream.  
  
There was an uncomfortable pause, in which the bishop turned to his partner and whispered in a tone everyone could bearly hear, "Dear godss, nowadayss we need a reasson for everything. Even when I assked the prisson guard if I could go outsside to take a pisss!"  
  
Lester decided they could be trusted, so their conversation with Theodore went a little like so:  
  
"Hey, Theo."  
  
"What?"  
  
"We want to have a word with you. The ssell next door to ourss, we mean."  
  
"What do they want?" Theodore was still groggy and in an undecided mood.  
  
"They want materials for a bow and arrows, and some light but strong rope. Can you do that?"  
  
"Was that a question or and insult...?" thought Theodore. But, the thing on his mind was more drink, so he brushed that aside. "Okaaay, what will they give meee...?" At this time he collapsed.  
  
"He'ss more drunk then we thought," whispered the bishop. "He says he wants payment in the form of more boozze."  
  
"So be it," Lester said with more confidence then he felt. "Tell him we'll give him some when we bail out."  
  
"That's crazzy enough to work. Wait."  
  
A few minutes later, the templar gave them good news and bad news. "Good newss, he'll do it. Bad newss, it'll take awhile."  
  
Kilov whine/whimpered and played with the ball on his head.  
  
Conner sat down and sighed a sigh that depressed everyone present. "We'll wait, then. We'll wait."  
  
And indeed they waited!  
  
And then some!  
  
And then some more!  
  
Ect, ect, ect...  
  
After what seemed like forever and a half, Theodore finally managed to get the proper materials. There was no time to lose. Lester hurried a bit more on the bow, he was hearing footsteps and they were coming to his cell. He hid them quickly and got into a sleeping position and regulated his breathing.  
  
The prison guard looked around, put some bread and water down, and left.  
  
"Hurry up, that fresh air outside smells delish and I want to taste it~" Conner whispered.   
  
Finally, the bow was done.  
  
"Kilov, we're going to play a game, okay?" Bensom instructed. "Lester is going to shoot an arrow into that window up there, and you'll climb up it and get out the window. Then, get the rope and tie it up to the nearest rock and wait. If you win, we'll be free. Do you understand?"  
  
Kilov nodded and sucked his thumb.  
  
Conner turned to Lester. "'Tis all yours. No one will come by for a while. Take your time and aim."  
  
Lester aimed, shot and it flew gracefully and landed outside. Kilov began to climb the rope, but alas he was too heavy and the arrow slipped and fell on the floor.  
  
They added weights to the arrow and shot it again. Kilov barely made it. He landed outside and did as instucted.  
  
"You can climb out now!" Kilov yelled.  
  
"Not so loud," Bensom said. "You'll attract the guards!"  
  
Slowly, Lester shimmied up the rope and got out. Bensom did the same without much difficulty. But Conner was too big to fit through the bars!  
  
"Ummm, I can't get out, guys. A little help?"  
  
"Try breaking the bars. They're really rusty."  
  
Conner pulled on the bars, and they broke with a loud...um...sound of bars breaking.  
  
"Holy Hell that was loud," Lester thought.  
  
"Prissonerss are esscaping! Get them!"  
  
"Time to run, people!" Lester picked up Kilov and ran. He ran faster then he had ever run before. His lungs were pleading for air. Judges on Chocobos were chasing them. Bensom fell behind and turned around. The judges halted in surprize, and so did the escapees.  
  
"So, turning youself in, white mage?"  
  
No one noticed but Conner. She was mummering something. A spell? What could a White Mage do to help the situation?  
  
"Frog!"  
  
A puff of smoke appeared and the next thing everyone knew, the judges were sitting on frogs that were croaking for air.  
  
"Tah tah," Bensom said over her shoulder as she ran. The judges gave chase, but their armor was heavy and they stopped.  
  
"Let's go to a Jagd, kupo," Kilov offered.  
  
"Good idea. Onward!"  
  
~That night~  
  
Kilov twitched. Bensom awoke, and watched him. He was having a dream, and he was saying something in his sleep. She sat down next to him and listened.  
  
Kilov found himself in a weird town. It was snowing, and humans were everywhere. Kilov walked about, looking for nothing in particular. A strange machine zoomed past, almost colliding into him.  
  
After his heart stopped beating so hard, he continued walking and found himself in a park.  
  
He saw a boy, age around in his early teens, blone, and a serious cowlick on his head. It seemed almost like a feather and it stood straight up. He was on a bench, his back to Kilov. A girl with long hair joined him. The hair always changed color-White, pink, green, ect, ect, ect... They looked off into the sky, not saying anything, neither seeming to enjoy or dislike each others company. Kilov wanted to sit down next to them and look at whatever they were so interested in, but he couldn't.  
  
The girl turned, saw him, looked surpized for a moment, murmered something, and suddenly he was witnessing a tea party. Four moogles were sitting on blue toadstools around a wooden square table. They were drinking doughnut-flavored tea and tea made of doughnuts. On the cups and teapot was written:  
  
"My White T"  
  
Then he awoke. Bensom was sitting next to him.  
  
"You had a dream," Bensom said quietly.  
  
Kilov scratched his head. "Funny, I don't remember any of it, kupo."  
  
"You were talking in your sleep. First you said, 'Kiss the girl already' then there was a pause. After, you were saying, 'Please pass the sugar,' and 'More scones, dear?' and things like that. Are you sure you don't remember?"  
  
"No...no I don't," Kilov said, still scratching his head. He had to remember-it seemed important!  
  
Urby's Note:Yaaay! Second chappie done. Study the dream reallllly good, and ask someone who knows a foriegn language to translate what is on the cups-but what language is ye looking for? Oh ho! R/R and tell me what you think. 


	3. Off ye goes!

Everybody dance now~ (o.o)  
  
Kilov prodded a sleeping Lester.  
  
"Kupopo...wake up...don't die on me, Lester! Or I'll never speak to you again, so there, kupo!"  
  
Lester opened one eye. Yawning, he pushed the moogle off him, sat up, and looked about.  
  
Conner was looking at a panther. The panther growled in a questioning way and nosed Kilov.  
  
"I'm sorry, my friend, but I'm afraid you can't eat him," Bensom said in a bored voice. "please look somewhere else."  
  
The panther whined and trotted off.  
  
Kilov pointed off to the sunrise. "Look, a town!"  
  
"Hey, that's Muscadet! I bet we could find some food there!"  
  
As if on queue, a chorus of grumblimg stomachs burst into song.  
  
"Well, um, let's go." Conner said, already leaving.  
  
  
  
Lester pounded on the door. "I know you're in there, Kelly! Open up or I'll send an army of bubbles after you!"  
  
Kelly opened the door a crack and responded in a scared tone. "Do you mean it?"  
  
Lester took out his solution. Kelly squeaked and flung the door open.  
  
"Don't you have a way with the ladies," Bensom whispered.  
  
Sybil looked at the four newcomers, shrugged, and continued reading The Hero Gaol. Kilov climbed on Sybil's head and read along with her.  
  
Sybil tolerated their presence. Kelly pretended they didn't exist. Kilov whined constantly for attention. When he wouldn't get it, he'd throw a tantrum and Sybil threw (yes, literally threw) him outside. Bensom would always fetch him after a while. It seemed as if they had always lived there.  
  
One peaceful day of Sagemoon, the judge came.  
  
A few raps at the door announced his presence. "I'm here to search your house. It has been told you are harboring four escapees. If you let us do our search in peace, we promise we won't hurt anybody."  
  
In an instant, Lester, Conner, Kilov, and Bensom vanished.  
  
Sybil opened the door. Instead of a living being, a statue of a Judge stood. An assassin, who was behind him, waved in a carefree way. The escapees poked their heads out of their hiding places-Kilov, in a drawer, Conner pretended to be a lamp, Lester had tried his best to hide under the rug (and failed in a most miserable way) and Bensom had hidden herself under the table.  
  
"The judges can afford a soft. Hello sister," the assassin said, hugging Sybil.  
  
"I haven't seen you in a while," Sybil replied. "have you found a name yet?"  
  
The assassin looked hurt for a moment, and changed the subject. "I need to find the fugitives, now."  
  
Lester hid himself under the rug again. Conner slipped and fell on the floor. Bensom froze. Kilov shrieked and ran in circles around an indifferant Kelly. It was quite a comical sight.  
  
The assassin grabbed Lester and started shaking him by the shoulders. "You, you you! Did you see him? I need to know! Please, I beg you!"  
  
Lester did his best to respond, but he was blacking out because the assassin was shaking him so hard.  
  
When she finally stopped shaking him, his eyes were unfocused and he was drooling slightly.  
  
Bensom waved her hand in front of his face, checked for a pulse, and looked at the assassin in a grave way. She sighed.  
  
"We lost him," Bensom said in a grave tone. Kilov stopped running around Kelly and sniffled. Conner looked down at the floor (he was on it), Sybil took off her hat and put on a straight face, the namelass assassin gasped, and Kelly smiled, innocently enough. "For now," Bensom added. Everyone sighed in relief (except Kelly, who ran to her room and wept, muttering gibberish about how she'd 'never escape the assult of the evil bubbles')  
  
The assassin sat, figeting. Conner mangaged to get off the floor and asked, "Who's 'he'?"  
  
"Thoedore. My fiancee. I was supposed to meet him a few days ago and he never came. I'm worried." The assassin looked close to tears and covered her face. Kilov, ever the optimist, jumped on her head, squealing, "Why would he do that? You're such a purdy lady. Kupo! If I saw 'im I'd tell him teh get teh ye and apoligize, nice 'n' proper! Indeed, kupo!"  
  
The assassin looked up to Kilov's smiling face, and gave him a big hug.  
  
"Bensom, save me! She's killing me, kupopo! I don't want to end up like Lester!"  
  
The assassin apologised and let him go.  
  
"We saw him, kupo. He helped us get out," said the moogle, sucking on his paw. "He seemed confertable enough. Didn't say anything about you, lady. I wonder why."  
  
The assassin sighed and muttered summat about helping him kick 'the habit' one day and left.  
  
After Lester recovered, there was another judge that passed dangerously close to Sybil's house.  
  
"Um, I really don't mind you guys, but it's the judges I really don't like. I wouldn't really want my pad to be the meeting place of those armored people," Sybil remarked. "I think you should leave-you'd be good as a clan, I think. You're old enough to take care of yourselves, 'cept mabe Kilov ("Hey! I'm right here you know!") you're smart enough to evade the judges, (Conner:Even Kilov? Are you kidding? Kilov: ;.;) and it'd be good for you."  
  
Kelly looked at Lester, and then at Sybil, and shook her head in a way only Sybil saw.  
  
Sybil gave her a "you're going too, don't argue" look.  
  
Kelly gave her the puppy eyes.  
  
Sybil gave her a "that won't work this time" look.  
  
Kelly's ears drooped and she sniffled.  
  
The next day Sybil booted them out of her hut and no one could argue with her. Armed with semi-full stomachs, provisions, and apropriate weapons, they set off. Kilov munched on a scone, singing an wierd-but-catchy-in-an-odd-way moogle song about Kupo nuts that I won't post here. Lester blew bubbles and Kelly visibly blanched. Bensom cleaned her spectacles and put them back on her nose. Conner read a mysterious book with no cover. Indeed, a fine start for a fine clan.  
  
  
  
U/N:Indeed, I know this chapter isn't as good as the others. X.x Gaaah writer's block. Review, review. Please. I'm so lonely. ;.; 


	4. Lester leaves?

Indeed, I forgot the disclaimer last chapter, so, um, yeah. I'll put random stuff here, just to see how many people read this. A purple Pikachu with dragonfly wings that change color under differant lights named Jin. Shiek is hot? I don't like Orlando Bloom, and Legolas has blonde hair and dark eyebrows. My sister is crazy about POTC. I'm not. Indeed.  
  
Disclaimer:I own NAUGHT! ('Cept a cartrige and this Fanfic) Square Enix does. You can't sue me, so ha.  
  
It didn't take very long for the travelers to reach Cyril, where they planned to set up their clan base. Pretty soon, everyone knew them well, and their eagerness to try out differant jobs and engage. The only thing they didn't know was the name of the clan, so everyone called them "The Nameless" because everyone assumed there was no name.  
  
One day Kelly awoke to a beautiful morning. Half sliding, half walking down the steps to the pub to where Conner and Bensom sat, talking in low-ish tones.  
  
"Hello. What's for breakfast?"  
  
Bensom pushed a platter to Kelly. "Naught much. Eggs, bacon, damsom wine...the usual."  
  
They ate in silence, a silence that made Kelly's fur bristle. Something wasn't right.   
  
Kilov arrived soon after, wearing a straight face. Kelly jumped. Kilov always smiled-this was either a nightmare or something dangerous happened. She grabbed him by the wings and whispered, "What happened?"  
  
"You don't know, kupo?" Kilov answered, his usually cheery voice grim. "Lester left this morning. Bensom told me before I got up. Kupopo..."  
  
Kelly was unsure what to make of this. Yay? Nay? No more bubbles. That made her feel better so she put him down.  
  
"This means we'll have to work harder during engagements, people," Conner stated. "one less clanmate in a five-person clan isn't good."  
  
Everyone nodded. This was going to be tough.  
  
It wasn't the most pleasant thing, fighting with four clanmates. For one, all the other clans picked on them for easy exp and judge points. And then no one really considered them a clan anymore, so no one came to fill Lester's position. It was quite depressing.  
  
"Look, a flan* eating contest!" Kilov squealed, pointing at a poster.  
  
"Heh, wish I could enter. I'm not much of a speed eater, though," Conner said, patting the moogle's head.  
  
"Hmmm. Says here the winner is the one who eats the most flan. Mmmm, I think I'll enter." Bensom said.  
  
Everyone laughed, a welcome change to the usually grim clan.  
  
"What? I take pride in my flan-eating skills," Bensom said, puffing out her chest. "I'll win, you'll see!" She ajusted her spectacles and went to sign up.  
  
"Wow, she's really going to do it," Kelly remarked. The clan sat in the spectator's seats, eager to see how Bensom performed.  
  
"Whoever eats the most flan wins. If you do not completely finish your flan, it does not count. If you stop eating for thirty seconds, you are discalified! You have thirty minutes. Go!" shouted the judge.  
  
Most of the contestants went at it with gusto. Others simply swallowed their flan, an impressive feat as each flan was about the size of Kilov's head. Bensom, along with a few others, sniffed the flan, and took their sweet time eating.  
  
"Come on, Bensom! You only have thirty minutes, kupo!" Kilov hissed.  
  
Some of the contestants gave up at this point, leaving the table and waddling off to the stands, to watch the remaining flan-eaters.  
  
The favorite was a huge bangaa, about two heads taller than Conner. Beside him was a tower of plates, on which a few crumbs of flan remained. Bensom was one of the ones with the least.  
  
"Fiveteen minutes left!"  
  
"Ten!"  
  
"Five!"  
  
By now, only some of the slow-eating ones (Including Bensom) and the big bangaa remained. Cheers of encouragement rung out from the stands.  
  
"Go get 'em, Velasquez!"  
  
"You can do it, Bensom! Kupo!"  
  
"Hang on, Rain! Keep going!"  
  
"Two minutes!"  
  
Only the big bangaa, Velasquez, and Bensom were left. The former was surrounded by half-finished flans, and was so full he could barely lift his fork. The latter was catching up.  
  
"Here, let me finish that for you." Bensom chimed, reaching for his uneaten flans, gulping them with relish. People cheered, and Bensom's pile of plates slowly but surely rose above Velasquez's. Bensom had won.  
  
"Pray tell, miss, what is your secret?" asked the judge.  
  
Bensom smiled softly and replied, "I've eaten flans for many years. You can say I've had a lot of practice."  
  
"You did it, Bensom!" Conner hugged her. "I woulda never guessed."  
  
Kilov climbed into the trophy Bensom recived and fell asleep.  
  
"I wonder how Lester would've done," Bensom mused aloud. "maybe he would've bested me." At this the clan fell silent.  
  
"Perhaps he could've..."  
  
The evening of that day was blistering hot, so everyone stayed inside or at a body of water. Kelly was fanning herself lightly with a sheet of paper she had found about. Kilov was bathing in the trophy which someone had kindly filled with water, Conner read his book, and Bensom took a nap. Some people were complaining and whining about the heat.  
  
"I wonder if Lester is having any fun. Prolly not, due to this heat," Kelly thought absently. "I wish he'd come back so we could get into a proper engagement. Thad'be nice."  
  
Kilov splashed about, sending refreshing sprays of water everywhere. Soapy bubbles floated around. Kelly squeaked and excused herself from the room.  
  
The next day was so nice everyone ate outside. The nameless clan was no exception. Kelly set up the table while Kilov draped the tablecloth on the table, but, as most children draping tablecloths on tables do, the cloth ended up more on the poor moogle than on the table.  
  
Everyone was having a good time, passing food about, having eating contests, play-fighting with drumsticks.  
  
Then they came.  
  
"Move over, I wanna have some," a rude Fighter shouted, shoving a poor nu mou away from his meal. "Ahhh, mashed potatoes," a lamia hissed. She licked her lips. "I hate mashed potaoes." She chucked the bowl at a passing viera. A floateye flew around a few children, scattering them all over the field, screaming as if Ragnorok was insuing. A Sage cast Giga Flare on the cakes, sending them aflame. A Gageteer grabbed a bunch of china plates and threw them with surprising accuracy at unexpecting peoples' heads.  
  
"Kupopo, they're ruining the feast," Kilov whined.  
  
Kelly took out her raiper. "They won't be for long. Hey you! Stop that!"  
  
The evildoers stopped, the Fighter chewing on some chicken, the lamia poised to throw some fruit at the poor viera, the floateye hovering over a child's head, who took advantage of this situation and ran away. The Sage and Gageteer were about to threaten some humans into giving them all their gil by branishing their weapons.  
  
"Weel, weel, lookie who's gonna get her butt kick'd," said the Gageteer, sneering. "Cummon, lil' goil. Nuttin' you cin do teh stop us. Weza gonna kill you!" He charged at Kelly, and the others roared/yelled/hissed/belched, charging too.  
  
A judge, who was at the feast, blew his whistle. "Laws today prohibit-" the lamia had thrown a pie at him, effectivly shutting him up and allowing everyone to disobay the law.  
  
The Gageteer faced off with Kilov, trying to find an opening. Although aloof otherwise, the moogle was a master at battle. Kilov roared, "Fire!" and the Gageteer's clothes burned. "Quicken!" Kilov dashed around to the moogle's unprotected forehead, and struck him between the eyes with his rod. The Gageteer fell.  
  
Meanwhile, the Sage was battling Bensom. Try as she might, she could not match his magic skill. She dropped to the ground, drained of all her energy. The Sage ran to the Gageteer, casting Raise on him. The Gageteer charged at Kilov, and they dueled.  
  
Conner found himself flanked between the two monsters. The lamia kissed him on the cheek, and the next thing he knew, he was a frog. The floateye stepped on him, knocking him out.  
  
Kelly faced the Fighter, who was drinking a long draught of a mysterious liquid he had taken out of his pouch. Roaring, bloodlust in his eyes, he rammed Kelly in the stomach, which caused her to faint.  
  
The mysterious clan faced the shivering people, who were cowering behind the tables, daring to peek out once or twice.  
  
Suddenly, the lamia screamed, an arrow protruding from her arm. More arrows struck the evil clanner's bodies, pelting them with a shower of projectiles. Finally, a few slingstones knocked them out. People cheered, and Lester poked his head out of the bushes. Bensom raised her head, gasping.  
  
"Lester...you came back."  
  
"And indeed I did! Come on, Bensom. Stand up. I can't pass out these phoenix downs alone, you know."  
  
Bensom smiled and did as told.  
  
~That evening~  
  
"Lester, Lester! You were gone too long. Whywhywhywhywhywhy? Kupo..."  
  
Lester picked up Kilov, who was weeping softly. "Haha, I'd never stay away from you too long. You're too cute. I was only away to see some relatives, geez. I thought you could survive by the time I came back." He shrugged. "Guess I was wrong."  
  
"It's your fault we were humiliated by all the clans! We were used to gain exp and judge points! Grrr..." Kelly fumed and sat in a corner.  
  
"Yeah, she missed you too," Conner said.  
  
"I could tell," Lester answered. "I could tell."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
U/N:Umm...yeah. I know this chapter sucked. All my chapters do. But, I PROMISE there will be some plot during the sixth chapter. I vow it! Or I'll take a Masamune 100 and stab meself. x.X  
  
*Flan:French custard 


	5. Omake: Say Zeal with Zeal!

More random ramdomity~. I'm blue dabadedabedi, dabedi oh whatever. I can't speel fer beans. I can't do anynaught for beans. I do them for money. Indeed. I will go down with this ship~and I will put my hands up and say Oh Yeah! Put 'cho hands in dah air! 'N wave em like ye just dun care! (coz ye don't) Ummm...anyway...  
  
Disclaimer:I am a girl who writes about summat dat aint 'ers. Indeed. FFTA is Square Enix's. NOT MINE! So dun sue me. Sue them or summat. o.o I don't own Digimon or FFVII either! So ummm...yeah.  
  
Lester:Ummm...gasp! This is...script form?  
  
Author:Indeed. And I'm so lazy I'll call meself Author an' noit Urby.  
  
Kilov:But dat's typing more letters. That makes no sense, kupo.  
  
Author:Shush. Yer mom makes no sence. OOOHH!~ Ummm...no. I don't know. I feel like it.  
  
Author's POTC crazy sister:Lalala...a pirate's life for me~  
  
Everyone: O.o;;  
  
Author's POTC crazy sister:Lalala...what?  
  
Everyone:Naught, naught.  
  
Author's POTC crazy sister:Okay, let's get on with the story then ^-^  
  
Author:Yes...indeed...  
  
Lester:Let's go into this obvoiusly dangerous cave!  
  
Bensom:Ummm...uh...it looks dangerous.  
  
Author:*GLOWERSTAREGLARE* I'M TRYING TO MAKE A PLOT HERE!  
  
Bensom:*shiver* I said naught, said naught...  
  
Conner:Hello!  
  
Echo:Hello...  
  
Kilov:Heee! Look, bubbles!  
  
Kelly:Eeee! Must run .  
  
Lester:Interesting. Pink and really big bubbles.  
  
Kelly:Eeee! Big bubbles T_T  
  
Bensom:*restrains Kilov from running about popping all the bubbles and getting lost*  
  
Conner:*restrains Kelly from running away from the bubbles and getting lost*  
  
Mysterious voice:I know you!  
  
Clanners:Know who?  
  
Mysterious voice:You. Kelly! I used to babysit you back in the day.  
  
Kelly:You make me feel so young. ;.;  
  
*The Mysterious voice reveals herself-as a Sniper/Summoner!*  
  
Sniper/Summoner:*waves, causing big pink bubbles to float about*  
  
Kilov/Kelly:MORE BUBBLES! EEEE!  
  
*The Sniper/Summoner makes an elegant leg and introduces herself.* I'm Zeal, pleased to meet you.  
  
Bensom:*waves?*  
  
Zeal:What brings you here to my obvoiusly dangerous cave?  
  
Clanners:*point to Lester*  
  
Lester:*points to the Author*  
  
Author:*points to her POTC crazy sister*  
  
Author's POTC crazy sister:*points to a bottle of hot cocoa*  
  
Bottle of hot cocoa:What?  
  
Zeal:Whatever. Welcome! Feel free to look around. But DON'T HURT ANY MONSTERS! *aura of 'don't ye dare'*  
  
Clanners:*shiver* We won't, won't!  
  
Zeal:*smiles innocently* Good, good.  
  
Kilov:Lalala~ooh, flowers.  
  
Random rockbeast:That aint no ordinary flaowe', yo. That be a Telaq flaowe', brother.  
  
Kilov:Are they yummy? Like kupo nuts, kupo?  
  
Random rockbeast:Eat 'em all de time. Try it.  
  
Kilov:*eats* Yum.  
  
Random goblin:It's also the most effective laxitive in all of Ivalice.  
  
Kilov:T_T Ummm...where's the nearest bathroom?  
  
Random rockbeast/goblin:*point off to a bush summat far away* It'll have to do.  
  
Kilov:*waddles off*  
  
Kelly:Must...get...away...from...evil...bubbles...  
  
Big pink bubble:*float float*  
  
Kelly:EEEE! *runs away*  
  
Big pink bubble #2:*float float*  
  
Kelly:*hyperventilating*  
  
Big pink bubble #3:*float float*  
  
Kelly:NUUU! X.X  
  
Big pink bubble #4-4348:*float float*  
  
Kelly:*faints*  
  
Bensom:Hmmm, lala...hmmm...I like Cloud from FF VII.  
  
Author:HE'S MY BISHI! MINE!  
  
Bensom:No, he's mine! =O  
  
Author:MINE. =3  
  
Bensom:You have Shiek!  
  
Author:...*looks at MSD*  
  
MSD:? What? O.o  
  
Author:*thinks* Welllll...technically you're a girl, Shiek.  
  
MSD/Bensom:??? O.O;  
  
Author:Shiek is Zelda. Zelda is a girl. That must mean Sheik is a girl. . That mean Shiek can't be a bishi. I can have Cloud den.  
  
MSD:*freaks* Uhhh...wait. I'm a girl? I've been going to the wrong bathroom for years! Gaah.  
  
Bensom:Hmmmph. I have Yamato Ishida then.  
  
Author:My Cloud...my precious...wait, YAMA-CHAN? EEEE! Must have! T_T  
  
Cloud/Yamato:Run from the evil fangirl(s)!  
  
Author/Bensom:*join a fangirl (and fanguy x.X) stampede and chase Cloud and Yamato*  
  
Author's POTC crazy sister:Bishis? Hmmmph. Jonny Depp is the ultimate bishi. ~^_^~ (blush blush)  
  
Fangirl(guy) stampede:*slow...turn...*  
  
Cloud/Yamato:*run away*  
  
Author's POTC crazy sister:Whoops. Oh dear.  
  
Fangirl(guy) stampede:*Trample all over the Author's POTC crazy sister before looking for Cloud and Yamato again*  
  
Clanners (excluding Bensom and Kilov, who is in a bathroom currently): O.O;;  
  
Conner:I knew not our author is a crazy, evil fangirl.  
  
Lester:*rubbing eyes* Gaah~that was painful to watch...  
  
Author's POTC crazy sister:*teeth falling out*And painful to experiance.  
  
Conner:*sits on a toadstool, reading his book*  
  
Random dragon:Whaddat?  
  
Conner:'Tis a book about monks. I'm studing to be one. Not a white monk, a monk monk.  
  
Random dragon:Does it have recipies in it?  
  
Conner:*flips around* No, there isn't.  
  
Random dragon:Aww. I misplaced my cookbook, see. Thought you had it. *wanders off*  
  
Kilov:Ahhh...that felt good. Now I need toilet paper x.X Kupopo...  
  
The dragon's cookbook:*holy choir of angels*  
  
Kilov:Ah! Paper! ^_^ Thought I was a goner. *tears a sheet*  
  
The dragon's cookbook:*tearripshread*  
  
Kilov:Kupo. Lalala~  
  
Lester:*hums random FFTA music*  
  
Zeal:Say Zeal with zeal! ^_-  
  
Lester:How 'bout not.  
  
???:*rustle rustle*  
  
Lester:Gasp! O.O;  
  
REALLY BIG ROCKBEAST:*nuzzles Zeal*  
  
Zeal:Chuchu! I thought I lost you!  
  
Lester:Chu...chu...? o.o;  
  
Chuchu:Chu!  
  
Zeal:Chuchu!  
  
Chuchu:Chuuuu...chuchuchu. Chu.  
  
Lester:Aaaahh! attack of the almost-pikachuness! X.X  
  
Zeal:He says you should go and get your friends. I don't know why.  
  
Lester:I'll go and do that.  
  
Clanners:We're here, Chuchu! What is it?  
  
Chuchu:Chuuuuuuuuuu~ chucho.  
  
Zeal:Says he:get ready for a fight.  
  
BIGGER THAN CHUCHU ANTLION:I make that one spider from LOTR look like a house spider. I'm hungry.  
  
Clanners:Gasp! O.O  
  
BIGGER THAN CHUCHU ANTLION:Roar?  
  
Kilov:Fire!  
  
BIGGER THAN CHUCHU ANTLION:That tickles. =3  
  
Lester:*shoots a bunch of arrows*  
  
BIGGER THAN CHUCHU ANTLION:*boink boink boink* Ohh, look, toothpicks!  
  
Conner:*does some monk-y stuff* Ummm...ummm...*throws a bunch of books at the antlion*  
  
BIGGER THAN CHUCHU ANTLION:...  
  
Kelly:*fences* Parry, repose! Blahblahblah!  
  
BIGGER THAN CHUCHU ANTLION:*bends her raiper in teeny tiny pieces*  
  
Kelly: ;.;  
  
Bensom:*summons the Fangirl(guy) stampede* That big spider thingy has our Bishi's! GET HIM!  
  
Fangirl(guy) stampede:*trampletraplestomp*  
  
BIGGER THAN CHUCHU ANTLION:O.o ummm...*flicks them all away*  
  
Bensom:What do we do, whaddawedoooooo?  
  
*Suddenly, the antlion dies!*  
  
The nameless assassin:Hello!  
  
Clanners:Yay!  
  
TNA:O.o  
  
Kilov:You know, kupo, when you say "TNA" like "Tna" really fast, it sounds like Tina!  
  
TNA:Tina...Tina...I like Mila better. I hearby call meself Mila!  
  
Author:Poofles!  
  
Mila:Yay! I have a name! ^_^  
  
Everyone:*claps*  
  
Theodore:*hugs Mila* My love!  
  
Mila:I thought you were in prison!  
  
Theodore:I've been excused for this Omake. Then I go back.  
  
Mila:Okay...*sniffle*  
  
Theodore:Don't be sad, love! I'm here and that's what counts.  
  
Mila:*whisks Theodore and herself off to somewhere where they can talk alone*  
  
Lester:1, 2, 3...  
  
Everyone:Awwww!  
  
Author:The End!  
  
Everyone:WHAT? BUT...BUT...WHAT ABOUT...  
  
Author:Nothing more. Indeed. End of story.  
  
Mila:Noooo! Theodore suddenly dissapeared! ;.;  
  
Author:Too bad. Mwahaha. I will now go find my missing muse.  
  
MSD:Urby! Thank god you found me. Which bathroom do I go into?  
  
Author:Ummm...the one that says "Muse" on eet.  
  
MSD:*skips away*  
  
U/N:Omigosh! The only chapter I will ever write that was halfway good! Plot in chapter six, I promise. Or's I will burn my pathetic soul in the pits of Hellen. Also, Zeal is actually my SISTER's chara, noit mine. Mine's called Urby, just like I. 


	6. Painful Memories

Random randomity for today includes sweet potatoes being boiled and then chopped up and fed to Chuchu. Ye has muchas to learn, little cricket. As the author o this here story is insane. Wilt I go and glomp-igeshness Yama-chan, feel free to listen to Conner practice his singing lessons (and break all the windows in my house doing so). Thou shalt not flame I, for I own absolutybally naught.  
  
Something stirred in the night. Kilov turned in his sleep and continued snoring.  
  
"Goddess, if he keeps at that, he'll wake the entire pits of hell," Lester thought. "Wait, what's that noise...I hear something."  
  
Whatever-it-was crept nearer to Kelly. It had a knife in its hand. With a clawed hand, it raised it slowly, surely, quietly above Kelly's heart. Lester threw the nearest thing at it-a flower pot. It screamed, the pot shattered, and everyone woke. Kilov lit a candle. The tonberry lay on the floor, immoblized by the pieces of ceramic pot stuck to its back and feet.  
  
"Damn you, damn you all..." it seethed.  
  
"Tut tut," scolded Bensom. "there's young readers reading this."  
  
"Grr...darn you then." it promptly vansished.  
  
"That...was completely random," Kelly said. "what a lame attempt at murder."  
  
"That means someone wants to slay us. That's not good." Conner added, filing a claw. "We should leave Cyril. Go to somewhere...better. Easy to defend. Lots of place to get lost in if you don't know the way. A forest."  
  
Lester nodded unsurely. "Yes, but there's not that many forests out there. And the Rangers don't like to share very much."  
  
Kilov pulled out a map. "Kupo. A cave. Tha'd work. No one really lives in one. Good spot."  
  
"But we must think of food, too," Bensom voiced. "'less you like monster meat, there's not much to eat in a cave."  
  
Kilov remebered about the Telaq flower and agreed.  
  
Kelly pointed at Materiwood. "There. I heard there's materite, which we can sell in times of need. Baguba isn't far-a half-day's jog from there. It's perfect really. Can't see very much else. And if there's another clan there, so what."  
  
Everyone argued a bit, but they all finally agreed that Materiwood was the best place for the moment.  
  
"Pack your bags, everyone," Lester groaned. "Materiwood is a long way off, with Lutia Pass between." "I hate, hate, hate, HATE mountains," Lester thought. "Good god. I am going to die during this trip."  
  
~Few days later~  
  
"Are we there yeeeeeeet~?" Kilov and Lester whined.  
  
Bensom cleaned her specacles. "No, dears. We haven't even climbed up this hill yet, then there's two sides to climb up the mount."  
  
The faces of Lester and Kilov took a shock/omigodweregonnadie expression.  
  
"And it'll be good for you lazybones," Kelly added, leaping on to a rock. "You're getting fat and ewwy. It'll do ye good!"  
  
Conner snorted and jumped over her head on to a stone further off. "Indeed it will, Kelly lazybones."  
  
A mad chase ensued, with Conner in the lead, jumping away from a pissed Kelly, yelling summat about "I'm the one with all the jumping skillz" and trying to strangle him, Bensom keeping a lively pace, and Lester and Kilov running for all they were worth to try and catch up. Eventually, the clan reached the peak of Lutia, and everyone takes a well-needed break.  
  
"Lookie hereah, mates, we've got a five-servin' meal o' brat!" called a familliar voice.  
  
"Indeed," a hissing tone agreed. "we will have our revenge."  
  
"Kupo, it's those stupid idiots from the feast," Kilov yawned, picking up his rod. "we'll just beat them again."  
  
The next thing everyone knew, it was raining, and lightning flashed every few minutes or so. Nevertheless, they charged, roaring challenges. The judge materialized, blowing on his whistle. "No Techs! No Healing! No Target Area!"  
  
The Sage singled out Bensom, but she poofled him into a frog. Croaking helplessly, he was no match for Bensom's staff. She gave him a full thwacking.  
  
The Gageteer teamed up with the monsters to take out Kelly, but they were in turn beaten by Kilov and Conner.  
  
Surrounded by the Nameless, the Fighter reached for something in his pocket and took a deep draught of it. In a flash of lightning, he ran around, felling Conner with a swing of his fist and Bensom by slamming the flat part if his blade onto her back. Then, he vansished. Lester's scream of pain rung out, and there was silence.  
  
Kilov shivered, more from fear than cold. The Fighter could be anywhere. Kilov sneaked off to were Bensom lay. She opened one eye after a bit of shaking. "Kilov, thanks," she croaked.  
  
Lightning struck a tree, bounced off, and struck Kilov. "Ahhh! It burns..." he whispered.  
  
A blade seemed to appear from Kilov's stomach as the Figher roared, "Beatdown!"  
  
The judge ran to the Fighter and abuptly arrested him. Seeing that all of the opposing clan had been defeated, he ceased to exist.  
  
"Kilov!" Bensom cried, inching her way to him. "Kilov, Kilov, stay alive!" "I can't heal him, I'd get flung into the slammer," she thought. Rousing the others, she bade them to go to the nearest town with utmost haste. They all agreed.  
  
  
  
Kilov's head swam. He was having painful memories. But he understood, and perhaps that was why it hurt.  
  
*An elderly moogle sat in a rocking chair, chroceting. A small child moogle climbed into her lap.  
  
"Ah, Kilov. How are you doing?"  
  
"I'm fine, grandma. I'm ready for my lesson, kupo."  
  
"Ah yes. Let's see, kupopopo. My old mind is forgetting things...ah. I don't think you knew your grandfather's (bless his parted soul) name is actually French?"  
  
"Non, grand-mere, je ne saivais pas."  
  
"Good, you're using French already. Well, the first part is 'Mont'. It means 'Mountain'. The next part is 'Blanc". It means "White". Together it is Montblanc, kupo." She wrote it on a piece of paper.  
  
"Kupo...but...it can also be read 'Mon', 't', and 'blanc', right? Let's see...'My', 't', and 'white'?"  
  
The old one patted the little one's head. "You're a smart one," said she. She yawned. "Let's get you on to your lesson..."*  
  
Kilov whispered to himself, "My grandfather...he is Montblanc!"  
  
His head throbbed, and he was plunded into another memory.  
  
*"Wait, no, stop!" a young moogle shouted, grabbing the young boy. "you're injured, they'll slay you in a moment!"  
  
The boy wiped blood from his face. "I can take care of him, I know I can, stop restraining me, pal. We'll win...win!"  
  
The moogle bopped the boy on the head with the little red ball on the moogle's head. "No. Stay here, Quin will arrive, he's coming, he'll heal you."  
  
"Sir, here I am. Allow me to bandage your wounds. I am afraid I have used all of my magic already."  
  
"Hey pal," the boy started. His eyes widened. "Wait, no, behind you!"  
  
The moogle was speared through the chest. "Mar...mar...it...hurts...kupopo..." were his last words.  
  
"You're next, boy!" snarled the Dragoon. He raised his spear.  
  
But the boy was too quick, and he threw Quin's mace at him, which knocked him out.  
  
"F...f...f...Fool! You've finished the battle! We can't save Montblanc now!" Quin studdered.  
  
The boy realized what he had done and broke into tears. "I'm...so...STUPID!" he yelled at the cloudy Jagd sky. He started smacking himself lightly with a stick he'd found about.  
  
"Mar...mar." squeaked the moogle.  
  
The boy rushed over to his fallen friend. "Hang on, we'll get you out of here, just hang on," he sobbled, holding his friend's hand.  
  
"My time has come, tell my son I will miss him, kupo. Tell him I'm sorry I couldn't get him that...what was it again...?"  
  
"A rubber duckie, signed by the great Sharu. The Ninja from all the stories," the boy sniffed. "he would always tug at your habit when you'd return, saying, 'Dija get it fer me?' Remember?"  
  
The moogle smiled, closed his eyes, and nodded. "Marche...goodbye, friend." His head rolled off to one side, and his hand went limp.  
  
"Sir, I'm sure you'd like to stay with master Montblanc, but you really have to go..."*  
  
Kilov wanted to scream, but his mouth wouldn't cooperate. "Marche, you killed my father, you bastard!" he thought, the words dripping with hatred and grief.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Urby:GASAPIGECHOKEGASPOMIGOD! Told you there would be plot. Aha! Yes, all the French thingamabobs are all correct.  
  
POTC Crazy Sister:I checked, so it's all right...I think.  
  
Urby:Yeahhh...let's hope now. Anyway, tune in fer a new, exciting-  
  
POTC Crazy Sister:COUGHCOUGHCOUGHWHEEEEEEEZEGAAAAAASP Heeeheee...*smiles innocently*  
  
Urby:¬_¬ *takes out a frying pan* This will have a date wid yer face iffen ye dun shut up.  
  
POTC Crazy Sister:Eeeee! *runs away and vanishes under her magical purple invisible pillow, saying summat about raising an army of Jonny Depp clones and attacking Urby fer that comment*  
  
POTC Crazy Sister:Wait, no! He's too pretty to fight! How about...ummm...Orlando Bloom? Noo...he's too girly...Vigo Mortenson! He's tough and stuff. X3  
  
Urby:I hope I spelled that'n's name right, 'tis Aragorn fer the ppl who are clueless (like me until a few seconds ago!) Byebye, see yer in chapter seven! ^_^ Don't you just love evil cliffhangers? =3 


	7. The feastruiners strike again!

There will be no random randomity for today. Just "Don't you hate it when..."'s! Don't you hate it when...your monitor won't work? Don't you hate it when...you've been murdered? Don't you hate it when...Square Enix owns FFTA and not me? Don't you hate it when...Urby won't hurry up and get on with the story?  
  
WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING! In chapter 6, Kilov says, "Marche killed my father!" Whoops. 'Supposed to be, "Marche killed my grandfather!" Whoops.  
  
Kilov shifted around. Blahh. He couldn't sleep. Bensom opened the door quietly.  
  
"Come in," Kilov groaned.  
  
Bensom sat next to him. "Are you alright?"  
  
Kilov coughed and turned to a cooler part of the bed. "I can't sleep, kupo."  
  
Bensom touched his forehead. "Sleep, Kilov. I command you."  
  
But Kilov heard nothing. He was already deep in slumber. Bensom smiled, covered Kilov in some light blankets, and left the room.  
  
"He 'sleep yet?" Kelly asked Bensom.  
  
"Yes, we can relax a bit," she sighed, fiddling with a string on her habit.  
  
"I'm still worried those assassins will find us," Conner growled. "We can only stay the bare minimum and leave at once." He stared at a claw, as if glaring at it would solve all their problems.  
  
"Chill, friend," another bangaa hissed. "relaxz. Here-try one of my buisciutz."  
  
Everyone agreed they were tasty.  
  
"The name'z Graham," the bangaa said. "Like my buiscuit? Been studying at the zchool of Cookin' here in Cadoan fer a while."  
  
Lester licked the crumbs off his fingers. "It tastes more like a cracker than anything. I like it, Graham."  
  
"Graham cracker-hmm, that sounds kinda...catchy." Kelly said through a mouthful.  
  
The nameless clan had stopped in Cadoan, the nearest city, to get Kilov some medical help. A kind Alchemist had brewed some potions for his wounds, and promised them he'd be okay. Everyone was resting up, taking advantage of this break.  
  
A short nu mou ran around tables, asking, "Do you know anything about birthing babies? Oh dear..." Lester stood up and followed the worried one.  
  
"Wow. Do you think that, like, Lester's a midwife or midhusband or summat?" Kelly said.  
  
"We'll zee. Maybe he'z gonna azk that nu mou where the bathroom iz," Graham suggested.  
  
Bensom twidded with her earring. "Blah. The more I think about it, the less I know about him."  
  
"Like the fact he never takes his hat off?" Conner stated. "was I the only person that noticed that? He always has it on, rain or shine, and he puts a nightcap on when he sleeps. Just saying."  
  
Time passed.  
  
And more time passed.  
  
SUSPENCE!  
  
Finally, Lester returned. He flooped in a chair, mumbling something. Bensom held his hand. It was cold, as if he'd just washed it. Lester noticed everyone was looking at him.  
  
"What?" he demanded. "stop looking at me like that!" Everyone magically found summat else to do.  
  
The day trudged on. Kelly found herself helping Graham make some new cookies, Conner reading his book, Bensom busied herself with a mission about a boy who wanted to get his Couerl, 'Meow' out of a tree, Kilov snored, and Lester napped on the roof.  
  
"Mister?"  
  
Lester turned to face the speaker. It was a young bangaa. Young bangaas had short tounges and did not hiss.  
  
"Yes, what is it?"  
  
"A lady told me to tell you she's very thankyful about what you did." He sucked his thumb.  
  
"How did this lady look like?" Lester inquired, looking up at the sky.  
  
"The one with the baby. She's cute, so small and pink and...I dunno." the bangaa child sat with Lester.  
  
Lester patted the bangaa on the head. "Well, tell the lady I knew what to do and did it. No big deal."  
  
The child smiled, licking a loose tooth. "Okay, mister."  
  
After the child left, Lester flopped on the roof. "Blehg. I never knew I'd have to use those skills ever again. I thought I could just forget and just be an archer with no skills whatsoever in birthing babies and whatnot. I feel so completely...arg." he thought.  
  
"Try him!"  
  
Kilov jumped. He looked behind him. A mob of moogles were chasing him, complete with torches, pichforks, the angry mob getup. He ran. Something told him to.  
  
"Try him! Try him!"  
  
He looked behind him. The mob was getting bigger, faster, still with moogles. He ran smackdab into a rock. He watched as it surrounded him and the mob. There was no escape.  
  
"Kill him!"  
  
"Try him!"  
  
"He killed (screams of other moogles)!"  
  
Kilov shivered. "But...but...I didn't do anything!"  
  
"Oh yeah?" one moogle shouted sheepishly. "Look at your hands, you murderer!"  
  
Kilov felt something cold, and yet wierdly warm at the same time. He looked down. They were not his. And covered in a thick, red...  
  
"Oh...god..." thought he.  
  
"Try him!!!"  
  
He looked at the moogles. Then he realized...they...were...himself.  
  
"Kill him!"  
  
"We should try him first. That way, we won't be charged for murder, 'twill be for justice!"  
  
Kilov walked to the mob of himself's. They growled and backed up a bit, but didn't seem scared. More like disgusted. He stopped and sat on his knees, closing his eyes.  
  
He felt a stab, through his stomach. His eyes fluttered open, and the face of the Fighter gleamed evily. "I see you like your memories," he laughed. "Sweet dreams, whahaha!" the Fighter was smacking him in the face with his blade, but it felt...soft? and smelled like fresh laundry?  
  
Kilov woke up, and saw Bensom drying his face with a towel.  
  
"You were sleepwalking...plunged your hands in a tub of beet juice. Had to splash water on you so you'd wake. I'm sorry."  
  
Kilov shivered. "No, no. Thankyouthankeeyouthankyou, kupopopopo." He hugged her. "Did I ever tell you I love you, Bensom?"  
  
Bensom blinked and nodded unsurely. "Um...yes, we were at the prison, I was thrown in, you came, hugged me, said 'I love you' I think."  
  
"Well, in case I ever die, I love you. I love Lester and Kelly and Conner and Sybil and Mila and those two mysterious bangaas that helped us, kupo, we didn't ask about the names...and Theodore and Chuchu and Zeal and..."  
  
"Stop, Kilov," said Bensom, putting a finger on his lips. "take a breath or you'll pass out. Don't be silly, Kilov, you won't die. Like Monty Python! 'It's just a flesh wound.'"  
  
Kelly looked in the tub of beet juice and shook her head. "Graham, we're gonna have moogle hairs in the soup if we use this boul. Shall I make a new one?"  
  
"Go ahead," responded the bangaa from another part of the kitchen. "and while yer at eet, could you get zome tizzues? Theze onionz are killing me."  
  
Conner looked up to see Lester reading over his shoulder.  
  
"Stop that," he growled. "it's annoying." he shifted. Lester changed his position. Conner closed the book and looked at him. "If you like it so much, I'd let you have it when I'm done. But I'm not, so leave me alone."  
  
"I'm just wondering, what did you do before you came here?"  
  
Conner snorted. "That's none of your flippin' business."  
  
Lester flopped on his back, sighing. Conner got up and left to a quieter place.  
  
The next day dawned lazily. Bensom found a Blue Mage was chugging mug after mug of a strong kind of ale.  
  
"Stop that," she almost screamed, shaking the mage. "you'll die of alochol overdose!"  
  
The Blue Mage hiccuped and went limp in her arms. "I want to shee him again...deer Loo~ki..."  
  
Bensom patted the mage on the shoulder. "It's okay, Loki will come back." she said quietly.  
  
"He'sh dead," the mage said flatly. "Loki ish dead, won't come back, come back..." she started crying. "Rain won't grow up with a father...Loki dead, dead..."  
  
Bensom cast a few recovery spells to clear up the mage's head. "Okay, I want you to tell me about Loki and Rain and whatnot. I have time."  
  
The Blue Mage coughed and started. "Name's Liam. Short fer Linda Issabella Andrea Milinda. Loki, Katarina, Elmon, Morry, and I made up this clan. Turned out Morry became tired of Loki telling 'im whadda do, as he was leader, see. He went mad, and killed Kat and Elmon. Went fer us, too. We ran, ran fast. Away." she shivered, funbling with her Blue Mage scarf. "stumbled into a Jagd...Morry there. Had buddies wid him. Say, 'I cum get'chee.' We fight. I die. Loki, he use Pheonix down on me. Say he wants me to live, raise his child. Morry stab him to death. I cast Night, they all 'sleep. I stab them in the heart, alla them." Liam hugged Bensom, sniffling. Bensom held her reassuringly. "It's alright, I'm sorry..."  
  
"I was so scared..." Liam managed to sob. "Loki, he dead, on the ground..." she looked helplessly at Bensom, then wiped her tears away. "I stay by his side, fer days. Caravan cum, they ask why I'm there. I tell them what happened. They laugh. Say, 'Well, stop sitting next to a pile'a bones and git on'. I look at him, he all bone. Nice black mage, he understand. Say, 'Bring that with you, if you like,' so's I do. He make Loki into powder. See." She held up a jar of ash that was tied around her neck by a peice of rope. "They drop me off here. I had Rain. Kind arrow-boy helped me bring her inta the world." she got up slowly, saying, "I hafta git back to Rain..."  
  
Bensom twiddled her thumbs, thinking. Arrow-boy, that sounds like an archer. Lester? No. Wait...hmmm...maybe...she looked at the candle on the table. It looked more like a fountain of wax, and a new stream of the hot stuff dripped over and landed with a 'ploik' on the table. She wiped it with her finger absently.  
  
A scream rung out. "RAIN? RAIN!!!" Bensom shot out of her seat, following the sound to Liam's room. She lay on her bed, holding a peice of paper, sobbing uncontrolably.  
  
"Rain...dressed up fer the naming ceremony...custom fer our tribe. Dress them in really fancy clothes..." she squeaked.  
  
Kelly was already there, aparantly she knew Liam. She took the paper from her hands. "Oh...those stupid biznatches," she growled. She shoved it into Bensom's face. "It's those jerks, from the feast, again. It asks for a ransom. 'Come to the Nargai cave, at sunset, with 1,000,000 gil. Come alone.' Oh, those...grr!" she looked so mad she could chew up iron and sit out nails.  
  
"Get the others," Bensom told Kelly. "Liam, get up. We'll help you get Rain back, don't worry."  
  
Liam rolled off the bed. "Okay, I'm coming. They'll regret messing with Linda Issabella Andrea Milinda!"  
  
*********  
  
"We bad," the floateye screeched. "We really bad!"  
  
"Heh, wid this dough we cin bust out Wilder AND get us some decent stuff. They rich, they cin give us poor people some money, eh? Eh, what'ssamatter, Istavan?" the Gageteer questioned.  
  
"I have a feeling about this, Nikolai," said the Sage. "A really bad one." Rain gurgled and reached for his nose. "Awww, do we really have to give her away? She's kinda cute!"  
  
The lamia slapped him on the head. "Fool! We need to bail Wilder out. That stupid man-child is no use to us!"  
  
Istavan looked sadly at Rain, who was giggling. "I hope we can steal you again," he said sadly. "you're starting to become really cute and stuff." he passed it to the Gageteer. "Take her, before I run away with her!"  
  
"Aaaaw, you ninny," Nikolai growled. "Fine, I'll tote the kid. You go aroun', whinin' yer ass off about this stupid kid."  
  
They reached Nargai, arguing and shouting.  
  
"Okay Liam, just go to them, and give them the box, okay?" Kelly said. Liam shivered, and nodded. "Awful drafty in 'ere," she commented.  
  
Kilov looked about. "Something's familliar, kupo. Like, really familliar. Uncannily familliar."  
  
"We get the picture," Lester sighed, exasperated. "Shut up already."  
  
Nikolai shouted, "'Ey, anyone there? We got a kid, I'm'a gettin' hungry and we're not afreared of eating it!" Liam squeaked and walked to him.  
  
"Grab her!" Nikolai roared. The feast-ruining clan surrouned Liam and dogpiled her. Lester yelled and shot an arrow into the floateye's wing. A judge materialized, shouting boredly, "No Hunt. No Kantanas. No Knightswords." Kelly darted, hitting the lamia with her rapier. Conner hit the Gageteer with a big book, which connected with a sickening thunk. Bensom peeled Liam away from the melee. Kilov cast Slow on some of the opposistion. The Gageteer cast Dark Ingot, and whadayaknow? the nameless clan got doomed.  
  
Conner growled and kicked the Gageteer soundly on the head. "Great. Just great..."  
  
The feast-ruiners managed to live before Lester and Kilov fell, and they knocked the rest out.  
  
"Hey, there's papers in here! Where's the money?" the lamia screamed.  
  
"And how come the judge is still here?" the floateye said, pulling out Lester's arrow with some difficulty.  
  
"WHO DISTURBS MY SLUMBERRRRRR?" a voice boomed, echoing eerily. Out of the shadows, a Sniper/Summoner stepped out, clad in a nightgown, hair completly uncombed, with a face that clearly not a morning, er, nighttimme person. "STOP FLECKIN' SHOUTING AND FIGHTING IN HERE! CAN'T A VIERA GET SOME SHUT-EYE IN HERE? YOU PEOPLE ARE SO DISRESPECTFUL THESE DAYS!" she got out her greatbow and shot an arrow upward, where it met the ceiling in a clink of flint against stone.  
  
"Heh, she's so tired she can't fire an arrow right," Istavan laughed.  
  
STOMP.  
  
STOMP.  
  
STOMP.  
  
"CHUUUU...CHUUUU...CHUUUUCHOOOO!"  
  
A giant rockbeast tore through the cave wall, glaring at the feast-ruiner clan. "CHACKKACHO, CHUUU! GRRR!!!" it beared its teeth, chomping in an odd, musical manner. Sounds of monster roars echoed across the cave. A mob of panthers, goblins, dragons, blade-biters, and fairies ran/floated/flew/trampled onto the scene, surrounding the unfortunate feast-ruiner clan.  
  
"YOU APOLOGISE RIGHT NOW TO ALL THE MONSTERS!" the viera demanded. "AND SHOW THE NAMELESS CLAN WHERE RAIN IS!" she glared at them. "Because I can tell them to attack."  
  
They stammered out aplogies and helped get the nameless clan on their feet. "She's in there," squeaked Nikolai, pointing to a rock.  
  
"Are you serious?" Conner growled.  
  
"Ummm...there...used to be a cave there...rock covering it...please, dun kill meh..." he stammered.  
  
A kind rockbeast pushed the rock away. Liam dashed into the cave. Her cry of disbelief echoed across Nargai. Conner snatched Nikolai. "If she's not there, we'll see the color of your insides!"  
  
"She's here all right," Liam sobbed, stepping out of the cave. "but...she's not breathing."  
  
Bensom grabbed Rain. She did all she could, but the baby remained limp. "I'm so sorry, Liam. She's dead. I can't revive her, she wasn't in the engagement..." said she.  
  
"Chuchu chakka cho cheu," Chuchu rumbled.  
  
"He says when he tore though the wall, he must of made the rock fall in front of the cave, sealing off the air and stuff," Zeal suggested.  
  
"YOU MURDERER!" Liam screamed, smacking Chuchu's foot with her saber. "YOU...KILLED...MY...RAIN! I WANT 'ER BACK!" she collapsed. "she's all I have left," she sobbed.  
  
Chuchu made some chu'ing noises. "He says you shouldn't hit him with your saber, you'll only break it," Zeal said sadly. "It's a very nice saber," she added.  
  
Istavan picked up Rain. "Hey...umm...lady...that thing around your neck...it's a cremated body or something?"  
  
Liam glared at him. "Mebbe it is, or mebbe not. What do you want?"  
  
Istavan pulled out a small ashen mace. "This here is my late brother. Died in a fight at a pub. I made him into a mace. He's never failed me." he turned to Liam. "I can make her into something...is that okay?"  
  
Liam looked at Rain, at her jar of ash that was Loki, and nodded. She tried to say something, but she choked and cried.  
  
The lamia slithered around, unsure of herself. The floateye shifted nervously. They were surrounded by other monsters-their kin. They were kind of tired of picking on others and all that stuff after all.  
  
Lester gave Istavan a small bottle. "Put her in here," he said. He ran away after he took it. Kelly dashed off after him, shouting, "Wait! Were do you think you're going?"  
  
Zeal prodded Nikolai sharply in the ribs. "I want you to promise me you'll never do anything like this again, 'kay?"  
  
"Wilder's our leader," Nikolai squeaked. "I...won't do nutin' like this ever 'gain, I promise!"  
  
"Good," growled Zeal. "Very good. As soon as Istavan's done, I want you to run, away, from this place. If by morning I find you, I will command these monsters to chop your head off and feed it to your face. Izzat clear?" the Gageteer whimpered and nodded furiously.  
  
Istanvan presented Liam with the bottle, filled with ash. "Here, this is yours." he dashed off with Nikolai, to run away from the cave with the insane viera.  
  
"As for you," said Zeal, turning to the nameless clan, "I suggest you return to your pad. I have to talk to these monsters here." she turned her eye on the lamia and floateye.  
  
And leave they did.  
  
Urby:The end of another chapter. Wheehee. .-.  
  
POTC Crazy Sister:Finally. *cough cough*  
  
Urby:I will admit it was long. You'll see how this all fits together more or less, people. 'Till next time.  
  
POTC Crazy Sister:You know the drill-read, review, and make Urby a happy camper.  
  
Urby:I've heard that before, somewhere...oh well. Do what she says! 


	8. A Message fer Yew

Random randomity! I look at her, she looks at me, she's got me thinkin' about 'er constantly, and she dun know how I feel...(ignorance is so bliss right now .) Oh, ho, ho hooo~ We invite yew to watch the droodles, they's are jes a bunch o' animated doodles, they make absolutlybally no senceeeee~ But they're humor sure is intense! God Save the Queen, 'cuz God knows she can't help 'erself.  
  
I dun own naught. I own less than naught. I am in dept. H'zzah. =/  
  
"Oh, what's this?" asked a Summoner, shoving the Fighter roughly. "Talking to yourself?"  
  
Wilder sneered, kicking her. "Aye, so mebbe I am. Yew cin shut up, hare." he shuffled into his bunk, mumbling. "What a way to talk to ''im', a mirr'r. Naw ev'yone thinks I'm sckitzofranic or whatever the werd is called." he thought.   
  
"Give him time, that's all he needs," a white mage wheezed. "Took me a while to get over the shock of being imprisoned. That warping thing those judges use-brrrr! Not fun." those in the cell knew what he was talking about. The magic that allowed the judges to whisk felons to the slammer wasn't exactly pleasant.  
  
"Fun, hurr hurr. Yew dunno what fun is iffen yew think that's unpleasant," said a mad moogle, bound by a straightjacket to the door. "First, yer all cold, hurr! Then, it feels like yer spinning, round and round and round and round and-"  
  
The Summoner shot him an icy glare. "Your head will be spinning round and round if you don't shut up," said she coolly.  
  
The moogle smiled sweetly. "Hurr, try and do so. Knock me block off, that's the ticket. Hurr!" cackled he. "Make me shut up, make me bottle up, and make me head spin. They dun have no spinnie winnies, hurr, no spinnies." he added sadly.  
  
Wilder stared at the mirror, hissing, "Yew better get me outta this madhouse, quicklike!"  
  
The face within winked. "You will, eventually." it portly vanished.  
  
***  
  
Bensom knocked on the door. "Come in," croaked Liam from inside. Bensom entered.  
  
The room was in disarray. Bensom slipped on a plate, paws askimbo. "You need to clean up," she said, trying to get back on two feet.  
  
"I wanta die," Liam sobbed, hugging a giant Mog plush. "if I'm guessing righ', there's no one in my tribe 'cept me. I lost my daughter, my husband, and my clan."  
  
"That give no reason for you to die," Bensom stated, catching a mouse by the tail as it scurried past. "Mmm, mouse. I like mouse." she opened her mouth and the mouse loomed closer. It squeaked. Liam watched in horror. The mouse disappeared in Bensom's gullet.  
  
"EEEEW!" she screamed, throwing a pillow at the nu mou. "Tha's jes gross!"  
  
Bensom dodged swiftly, chuckling. "You should try it, Liam. They taste mice-er, nice."  
  
Kelly stepped into the room, and the pillow shpoofed into her face. "Whaaaaat? What's with throwing pillows at innocent vieras all of a sudden?" she gasped, chucking it at Bensom. Bensom seethed, tossing it at Kelly, who caught it neatly. She threw it at Bensom again, who dodged. Liam took the pillow in the face.  
  
"Pillow figh'!" Liam yelled, reaching for a cushion and throwing it at Bensom, missing in a miserable manner.  
  
"Zounds like they're having fun in there," Graham mused, dusting his apron lightly. "I wonder where Kelly went. Need 'er to 'elp me with zome new rezzepiez."  
  
A viera looked around for something and held small piece of paper. Lester walked up to her. She seemed a bit troubled. She was looking at the message, meant for someone else. She looked as if it contained some priceless treasure and it would be all hers if she...just...opened...it. But she had duty, and did not. However, once in a while she'd poke at the string, wondering. "Aye, yer that Lester kid," she said, looking at him. "Here, take it. Fer yew." she pressed the message into his hand. She brushed some dust off her Assassin uniform.  
  
Lester blinked. "How...do you know my name? And since when do Assassins deliver messages? And who are you?"  
  
She beamed, and poked his nose, making a little 'moh' sound. "I'm jes forfilling a mission, I'm done nows, I git paid. Anyone coulda delivered that message. Aye, I know yer name...cuz I do. And me? I'm jes someone you shouldn't remember. Banish me from yer memory." she waved a hand for emphasis. "Ta."  
  
Lester stared off at the veira, but she got lost in a crowd at the pub. When it cleared, she had vanished. He opened the message. He gasped and ran to the others.  
  
"Where's Kelly? And Bensom? And Liam?" he yelled into the room.  
  
"I've been looking for them myself," Conner yawned. "and not so loud," he whispered. "Kilov's taking a nap."  
  
Lester and Conner tiptoed out of the room. After gently closing the door, they looked for the girls.  
  
"Hmm, this is Liam's room," Conner mused. "I'll ask her if she's seen them." He entered the room. Lester gasped at the mess. Cushions were every which way. Kelly was buried in a small pile of them, Bensom ran around, dodging Liam who was chasing her yelling bloody murder with a pillow in her hand. When Conner and Lester entered there was silence.  
  
"Errr, ummm, hi," Kelly offered from her pillow-hideout.  
  
"We got a message, and it's bad news," Lester waved everyone closer.  
  
  
  
'Wi will find you. You will not escape. You were lucky the first time, but wi am back. It will be a time of slaying. Your blood will run like the river, your bones will decorate mour home.   
  
-Morry and Wilder.'  
  
  
  
Liam gasped and fainted.  
  
Urby:Yahayarr! Don't you just hate me now?  
  
POTC Crazy Sister:Everyone hated you before. Why should they start now?  
  
Urby:This chapter was short to make up for the incredibly long chapter seven. See you next time, in chapter nine. Expect an Omake in chapter ten. 


End file.
